Before entering the confessional

Take a quiet moment to recall what you need to confess. The examination of conscience guide gives you a manageable starting point. If it has been a long time, you can arrange an appointment with the parish so there is space for your questions.

Keep any reminder brief and private. You do not need a polished speech. Decide how to explain the situation simply, and tell the priest at the start if you need help with the order.

How do I start confession?

After the priest’s greeting, make the Sign of the Cross. A familiar opening is “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” Then give an honest estimate of the time since your last confession. If you cannot remember, say that.

For a return after many years, this suggested wording can help you begin. It is a practical example, rather than a required formula: [1]

Father, I’m returning after a long time and I don’t remember the order. Would you guide me?

How should I say what I need to confess?

Name the sins directly and take responsibility for your own choices. The Church asks Catholics to confess mortal sins they remember after a careful examination; give their kind and number as accurately as you can. Ask the priest when you are unsure how to describe something.

A useful preparation exercise is to replace a vague statement with a concrete one. Instead of speaking only about being a difficult person, identify the actual action you are sorry for. Avoid turning the confession into a list of someone else’s faults. Give context when it helps the priest understand, and let him ask any needed questions. [4]

The rest of confession, in order

The priest will guide the encounter. Listen carefully, especially to the penance he gives you. If you do not understand what he asks, clarify it before leaving. [1]

  1. Finish naming what you need to confess and express your sorrow.
  2. Listen to the priest’s advice and receive the assigned penance.
  3. Pray an Act of Contrition when invited.
  4. Listen as the priest gives absolution and follow his concluding direction.
  5. Complete your penance afterward, as instructed.

What if I do not know the Act of Contrition?

Tell the priest. A card may be available, or he can help you with the prayer. The USCCB publishes several texts from the Order of Penance, including the short prayer “Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Open the linked source if you would like a prayer text before your visit.

Having the words in front of you can free you to pay attention to what you are saying. Express sorrow for your sins and your intention to turn away from them with God’s help. [3]

Common questions about the words

What if I freeze or forget what comes next?

Say that you need help. You can use a simple sentence such as: Father, I have lost my place; what should I do next? Let the priest guide you rather than trying to reconstruct a memorized script. [1]

Do I have to know the exact date of my last confession?

Give your best honest estimate. If you remember only that it was several months or many years ago, say that. The guide to returning to confession explains how to prepare for a longer absence. [1]

Can I discuss something I am unsure about?

Yes. Briefly explain your uncertainty and ask the priest for guidance. If you need an extended conversation, an appointment outside the regular confession queue can give you more time.

Sources & further reading

  1. Archdiocese of Washington and Diocese of Arlington: How to Make a Good Confession, hosted by USCCB
  2. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1454–1460 — preparation, confession, and penance
  3. USCCB: Act of Contrition — prayer texts from the Order of Penance
  4. Code of Canon Law, canon 988 — confessing grave sins in kind and number

Practical routines are suggestions; sources support the explanations of Catholic teaching and practice. Our editorial approach · Suggest a correction.